Thursday, August 23, 2012

Barbie

If Barbie had nipples
I'd do her
Without nipples, I find it hard to get excited about her
But if she had nipples, I'd do her

And a vagina
She would have to have a vagina as well
Because otherwise how would I do it?
I'd have to take a drill to her nether portions
And the outcome would be uncomfortable for all concerned

So nipples and a vagina
And I'd do her

Of course, Barbie is a really tiny doll, and I couldn't do a doll that small, logistically speaking
She'd have to be much bigger
With nipples and a vagina

And not a doll
I wouldn't want to do a doll
If Barbie wants me to do her, she'll have to not be a doll
It would take the pleasure out of doing Barbie if she just lay there staring blankly at me
No sound but the squeaking of plastic
So definitely, not a doll

I would not hesitate to do Barbie if she had nipples, and a vagina, and was the size of a woman, and was not a doll
A Barbie like that is a Barbie I could get on board with
She should also have a tattoo

I would love to do Barbie if she had a tattoo
But Barbie never has a tattoo
If I could get someone to paint a delicate tribal tattoo on her shoulder with a tiny paintbrush, Barbie would be perfect
If she was a full-size Barbie who was not a doll, of course, we wouldn't need the tiny paintbrush
I could just ask her to get a tattoo

So I would do Barbie, if she had nipples and a vagina, and was not tiny and not a doll, and had a tattoo
And if she had an hourglass figure and black hair, that would be nice too
Because I think Barbie's hot

If Barbie was an actual woman, I wouldn't be so picky, of course
I would do an actual woman
That would be sweet
I'm not sure if I would do a woman without nipples
Maybe
She might have had her nipples pulled off in an industrial accident and I wouldn't want to discriminate against accident victims
That'd be cruel
She would probably still have to have a vagina though
I guess I could take a drill...
No, she'd definitely have to have a vagina

But I'm flexible about the tattoo
But it would still be nice

Also she should come with her own Dream Car

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Sometimes I Dream

Sometimes I dream
Of breaking bones
Splintering shattering crunching to dust
Fists hitting walls and knuckles bent and crushed
By their own irresistible force

And kneeling
Bleeding
Praying
Floorheaded wallfisted beetleballed
Keening like a dying cat
Dreaming of broken bones
And relief