Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Andy Warhol

I met Andy Warhol at a kerbside cafe

He didn't look the way I remembered, but I know it was him by the way he drank his soup:

Straight from the can, with a go-go dancer sitting on his head

I said to him, Andy, Andy, tell me about the 60s

And he said, let me tell you this, son. The 60s were more than just a decade. They were two decades.

And I said Andy, I'm pretty sure it was just one decade.

And he said, hey, maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, but let me tell you this: the 60s were like a mind EXPANSION. Ever been knee-deep in yak hair, getting pelted with mangoes? That's what the 60s was like, believe me when I tell you that the 60s were like being in the middle of an explosion in a Teddy Ruxpin factory.

And I said, Oh, YES....

And I said, Andy, Andy, back when you were subverting dominant cultural paradigms and revolutionising popular conceptions of what constitutes art in the mass consciousness...did you never think of love?

And he said, let me tell you one thing about love. Love is like Richard Attenborough. It is old, and it is wise, and it is award-winning. Sure, we are sad when love is shot by the Germans, and yet love plays a pivotal role in Jurassic Park. Know then, love looks good in a panama hat.

And I said, you, me...WAVELENGTH!

And I said, Andy, Andy, I want to thank you, Andy, for all you've done. I want to thank you for taking in that little orphan girl, and her dog, resucing them from the avaricious Miss Hannigan and her evil brother Tim Curry, with the help of Punjab's turban.

And he said, no, I am Andy Warhol. You are thinking of Daddy Warbucks.

And I said, O you are wise!

And I said, Andy, Andy, did you know that David Bowie wrote a song about you?

And he said, yes, it's called The Laughing Gnome.

And I said no, it's called Andy Warhol.

And he said that song isn't about me, that's a different Andy Warhol, he sells aquariums.

And I said oh man....

And just then David Bowie himself walked in, unbuttoning his shirt, and said, anybody here need their pool cleaned?

And that's when things got sexy...

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