I met Andy Warhol at a
kerbside cafe
He didn't look the way I
remembered, but I know it was him by the way he drank his soup:
Straight from the can,
with a go-go dancer sitting on his head
I said to him, Andy,
Andy, tell me about the 60s
And he said, let me tell
you this, son. The 60s were more than just a decade. They were two decades.
And I said Andy, I'm
pretty sure it was just one decade.
And he said, hey, maybe
you're right, maybe you're wrong, but let me tell you this: the 60s were like a
mind EXPANSION. Ever been knee-deep in yak hair, getting pelted with mangoes?
That's what the 60s was like, believe me when I tell you that the 60s were like
being in the middle of an explosion in a Teddy Ruxpin factory.
And I said, Oh, YES....
And I said, Andy, Andy,
back when you were subverting dominant cultural paradigms and revolutionising
popular conceptions of what constitutes art in the mass consciousness...did you
never think of love?
And he said, let me tell
you one thing about love. Love is like Richard Attenborough. It is old, and it
is wise, and it is award-winning. Sure, we are sad when love is shot by the
Germans, and yet love plays a pivotal role in Jurassic Park .
Know then, love looks good in a panama hat.
And I said, you,
me...WAVELENGTH!
And I said, Andy, Andy,
I want to thank you, Andy, for all you've done. I want to thank you for taking
in that little orphan girl, and her dog, resucing them from the avaricious Miss
Hannigan and her evil brother Tim Curry, with the help of Punjab 's
turban.
And he said, no, I am
Andy Warhol. You are thinking of Daddy Warbucks.
And I said, O you are
wise!
And I said, Andy, Andy,
did you know that David Bowie wrote a song about you?
And he said, yes, it's
called The Laughing Gnome.
And I said no, it's
called Andy Warhol.
And he said that song
isn't about me, that's a different Andy Warhol, he sells aquariums.
And I said oh man....
And just then David
Bowie himself walked in, unbuttoning his shirt, and said, anybody here need
their pool cleaned?
And that's when things
got sexy...
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